Category Archive

Though a bit late for a standard greeting, I’d rather than not still send this warm “Merry Christmas to all!”.

With that, I share this 50’s-sounding version of White Christmas. Some may find it, the genré, a bit outlandish for those with the youngish taste in music, but just listen to it, even for kicks.

Also, I wish you all a blessed 2008 despite the . . . (now I don’t want to start with the rants and raves. I’ll leave them all to you.)

By mere observation even you would know which relationship works no matter how much of a show a couple puts on to make you think otherwise.

Ambition defines what you do. It names the purpose of everything you do. It is the picture of the future you want to see and you want to be in.

In a relationship, even more so, ambition directs both partners to where they want the relationship to go. But that doesn’t mean that each partner has to shelve their personal ambitions. Personal goals and relationship goals must complement each other. If by any circumstance they don’t, then opt
for the one which will provide greater benefit but still hold on to the one that was put off for the moment. There will be another time for that. Fine-tuning goals is a must and patience takes a big role in this aspect. It’s a matter of priorities, really.

I have girlfriends with illustrious careers who have husbands at home with the kids, but are productive. These guys bake, write, and fix some stuff and their services are up for bid through the friends network. It’s not a total bum scenario as these males could not even imagine their existence without doing something creative.

Whenever we meet, there are no complaints from either partner. One learns to put off for the moment and has made his way around the situation by being creative and still make money. One partner even moved his office to his house so he can watch the kids at the same time. The kids, on the other hand, enjoy the presence of a parent at home and it has made them more confident.

I believe a parent (not a bum) in the house is an ideal set-up that works well for the growing children and the relationship, as a whole. The children learn to be sensitive to family matters and the partners learn to communicate in a level that includes the children in decision-making.

On the other hand, I also have girlfriends whose husbands are part of the furniture in the house. These guys are the alpha males of bum-hood, the knights of gaming and the stand-alone fixtures during gimmick nights. Of course, my girlfriends suffer, the children suffer — what of the relationship?! — and my ears bleed whenever I hear their litanies about what their husbands have turned into.

Still, I have other friends who, after having kids, remain unmarried for fear that marriage will ruin the relationship they are enjoying. I couldn’t blame these guys, though. Such idea has been interspersed in most shows on television and other mass media materials and has become the norm these days. Sadly, it is also assuming an ideal set-up, more often even better than what marriage can offer.

It just boils down to holding on to ambition; but having lost it all after marriage — or no marriage — is not a good sign, as either or both partners have lost the will to dream. Perhaps, for some, marriage was thought as the ultimate ambition and that either or both partners have put a stop to achieving
their respective personal goals or their other relationship goals — just going
by the flow of daily existence. This arrangement will truly crack and head for doom.

It happens. No plans, no goals, no action, therefore, no achievement. The success of a committed partnership is not too often measured by what was achieved — although that could be the instant reward — but by the processes they went through, both, as partners and as individuals, the growth or evolution they have experienced and the deeper learning and understanding of each other’s person on the road to achieving the goal. This is what matters most.

Achievement is just that (the object), but the getting there is what really counts (the experience); and that cannot just be ignored or be taken away. What drives you is the going there.

Ambition is a major aphrodisiac! is how a guest in the Tyra Banks Show said it. So, don’t lose it; don’t just let it go!

_________

Reference:

I got the photo when I searched for images for “ambition”. It is from Petros Labrakos’ flickr entries.

Early this week someone from the past beeped my cellphone and announced that we are going to have a high school reunion. And she’s not even listed in my phonebook! Well, reunions like this take place annually, mostly during summer and most of those who have gone away too long really look forward to these events.

This is the first time (that I know) our high school batch will join the entire alumni community. Besides, I haven’t been actively participating in any alumni activity since I left high school. Except for some cheer up calls from old high school friends who also live in the city, my sometimes-colorful-sometimes-laid-back life just goes on.

So now, there is this reunion come April 8th. For the sake of knowing how everyone has been all this time, I could go; but that’s not enough. I mean that’s not enough reason to make me go. And wouldn’t that be too much of a burden (again?). After all the effort of forgetting, unlearning, ignoring everything from that phase in my life, it’s like attending one reunion will bring them all back. Well, it’s not that I had been into a series of unfortunate events during that phase for everyone knew me as one with character, with distinction and I could go on. But it’s not that.

Friends? Everyone then wanted me to be their friend. Everyone then wanted me to be their leader, groupmate, classmate, seatmate, soulmate. Everyone wanted me just the same, even those students I didn’t even know! I was their superstar and I think that atmosphere suffocated me so much. I was compelled to be nice and all.

I left all that and learned to work my way some place else where even in strings of excellences or some misgivings, I am treated as an equal. No special considerations for me; and I like that for I can be myself. That, I cherish greatly — just being me, all the time. Going back to all that was is like courting disaster.

But now that I have thought of that, I will like to go and attend that reunion to let them know the real me. They’ve been missing that for so long for they haven’t known me as me. Well, except for a few, of course.